Tips for finding the perfect engagement ring
Choosing the engagement ring can feel like the part of the proposal you’re supposed to have completely figured out, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I was happy to chat to the team at Boutee - who help people find independent jewellers who suit their style, budget and ideas, whether they know exactly what they’re looking for or have no idea where to start.
From custom engagement rings to more personal alternatives to the high street, Boutee connects customers with carefully selected jewellers across the UK, helping make the ring-buying process feel calmer, clearer and much more personal. Find your engagement ring designer with Boutee.
Q: When should someone start looking for an engagement ring before proposing?
Ideally, as early as you can without putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. You don’t need to have every tiny detail figured out months in advance, but you also don’t want to be a week away from the proposal and suddenly realise you have no plan for the ring. If you want a custom engagement ring, giving yourself a few months is sensible where possible, as the timeline can depend on the jeweller, the design and the stones involved. That said, the final ring doesn’t always have to be ready before the proposal. Some people propose with a placeholder ring and then design the final engagement ring together afterwards, which can actually be a really lovely option.
Q: What should someone do if they’re not sure what style of engagement ring their partner wants?
Start with your partner’s style rather than the ring itself. Look at the jewellery they already wear, the colour of metal they usually choose, whether their taste is simple or more detailed, and any rings they’ve shown you before. Pinterest boards, Instagram saves and little comments they’ve made in the past can all be really useful. But you don’t need to have the perfect design before speaking to a jeweller. A good jeweller will help you make sense of those ideas and turn them into something practical, beautiful and realistic for your budget. Even if you feel like you have no idea where to start, that’s completely normal. The jeweller is there to guide you through it.
Q: Can someone propose with a placeholder ring and choose the final ring together afterwards?
Absolutely, and it can be a really good option. A placeholder ring means you still get the surprise and excitement of the proposal, without putting all the pressure on yourself to choose the final engagement ring alone. This is especially useful if you’re worried about getting the design wrong, or if you know your partner would enjoy being part of the process. Designing a ring together can actually be a really fun and personal experience. You get to work with a jeweller, explore ideas properly and create something your partner really loves. The only real compromise is that the final ring isn’t ready on the proposal day, but for many couples that’s completely worth it.
Q: Do you need to know the exact ring size before proposing?
It depends on whether you’re proposing with the final engagement ring or with a placeholder ring. If it’s the final ring, you want to get as close as you can. Jewellers can often resize rings, but it depends on the design, and resizing by a small amount is usually much simpler than resizing by a large amount. Certain settings, stones or band shapes can make resizing more complicated, so it’s worth asking the jeweller early. They’ll be able to give you advice on how to estimate the size and what happens if it needs adjusting afterwards. If you’re proposing with a placeholder ring, there’s much less pressure, as many are adjustable or only intended for the proposal moment.
Q: How much should someone expect to spend on an engagement ring?
This completely depends on you and your budget. There isn’t a magic number, and the old idea that you need to spend a certain number of months’ salary is very outdated. As a rough guide, custom engagement rings can start from around £1,000, but the price can increase depending on the stone, metal, design complexity and how much work is involved. A simple design with a carefully chosen stone will usually cost much less than something very intricate with rare materials or a larger centre stone. The best thing you can do is be honest about your budget from the start. A good jeweller will help you understand what’s realistic and where your money is best spent.
Q: Is a custom engagement ring always more expensive or complicated?
No, not always. That’s one of the biggest misconceptions about custom engagement rings. A custom ring can be more expensive if you’re choosing rare stones, expensive materials or a very intricate design, but custom doesn’t automatically mean unaffordable or overly complicated. In many cases, it can be similar in price to an equivalent ready-made ring, especially when you’re comparing similar materials, stones and craftsmanship. The real benefit is that you can have a proper conversation with the jeweller about your budget and priorities. They can explain what affects the price, where it’s worth investing, and where the design can be simplified without losing the overall look. Custom doesn’t have to mean extravagant!
Q: How can someone keep the ring-buying process secret?
This is something a lot of people worry about, but it’s definitely possible if you’re careful with the small details. The surprise usually isn’t ruined because someone finds the actual ring. It’s more likely to be an email notification, a shared device, a bank statement, a browser tab or a delivery message. Use an email address your partner can’t access, be careful with notifications, and avoid searching for rings on shared laptops or accounts. If the ring is being delivered, send it somewhere safe, like work or a trusted friend or family member’s house. Also, tell your jeweller from the start that it’s a surprise. Jewellers are very used to this and will usually have plenty of tips.
Q: What are the biggest mistakes people make when buying an engagement ring?
Honestly, I think the biggest mistake is overcomplicating it and feeling like you have to figure everything out on your own. It’s a big purchase, so it’s completely normal to feel nervous, but that’s exactly why working with the right jeweller helps. You don’t need to know every stone, setting or technical detail before you start. You just need to be honest about your budget, timeline, what you know, what you don’t know, and what you’re worried about. A good jeweller has guided people through this process many times before. There’s no silly question, and you’re not expected to be an expert. The best thing you can do is ask for help early and not let the fear of getting it wrong take over.
Q: How does Boutee help people find the right jeweller for their engagement ring?
Boutee helps by understanding what you’re actually looking for, even if you don’t know how to describe it yet. We look at things like style, budget, location and the kind of ring you’re drawn to, then help connect you with independent jewellers who fit that brief. That’s especially useful because the right jeweller for you might not be the one down the road. They might be based somewhere else in the UK, with a style that perfectly suits what you want, but you’d never normally find them. All the jewellers on Boutee are carefully selected, so the aim isn’t to overwhelm you with endless options. It’s to help you discover the right person for your style.
Now you've got the ring sorted, there's just one more thing on the list! The photographer who'll actually capture the moment you propose (or the moment you say yes). I teamed up with Boutee on this one too, so if you haven't already, check out their guide to booking a wedding or engagement photographer. And when you're ready to lock in your date, get in touch, I'd love to hear your story and talk through how we capture it.
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